The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

The dwarves, along with Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey, continue their quest to reclaim Erebor, their homeland, from Smaug. Bilbo Baggins is in possession of a mysterious and magical ring. (161 mins.)

Director: Peter Jackson Stars: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Ken Stott What in Smaug’s fangs is going on here? The Lord of the Rings trilogy looked like fun. Fun to make, be in and watch. This isn’t fun. It’s a grind, from the portentous dialogue (“So, you are the one they call Oakenshield”) to Howard Shore’s overbearing score. Bilbo (Martin Freeman, above), Ian McKellen’s chuckling Gandalf (is he stoned?) and some ill-characterised dwarves continue their quest to snatch a wondrous jewel from the lair of the dragon Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch, his sinister tones a highlight). As with the first slice of Hobbit, the most compelling confrontation – this time between Bilbo and Smaug – comes right at the end. It takes an entirely humourless age to get there.

Svengali (15) John Hardwick DVD/Blu-ray (93mins)

There’s precious little nuance or originality about Jonny Owen’s tale of an enthusiastic music lover, Dixie Owen, who ups sticks from Wales to London to manage an obnoxious band. We don’t hear their songs, and instead are offered lazy stereotypes: they brawl, they’re petulant and they’re greedy. Yet the gullible Dixie, unconvincingly, takes on their demands. Some cute cameos – Martin Freeman, Matt Berry, Alan McGee – and a smidgen of charm aside, this feels dated and, unforgivably, it wastes Vicky McClure in the thankless girlfriend role.